Following my first confinement experience which turned out to be rather popular, I thought I’d share my experience the second time round.
How does a second confinement compare to the first?
Is it necessary or important to have a confinement lady for your second child? Do you need them? After all, you’ve had your first, so you’d be a pro at handling a baby… right?
To help you make that decision, here are the three major differences between my first and second confinement:
I’ve always heard that the more babies you have, the easier birthing becomes. I would’t say that my second labour was necessarily easier (still very intense), but it was definitely quicker, and so was my recovery.
For my second, I was in full spirits after delivery at 5pm and opted to be discharged the same day! Of course, we had thumbs up from both the pediatrician and obstetrician before doing so.
To compare, it took me 3 months to fully heal from the first delivery, despite having had natural birth both times.
During the second confinement, my overall better physical state meant that I was able to focus more on other things such as my newborn baby, breastfeeding and my toddler.
It made such a HUGE different being mobile and able to do normal things without worrying about your wound and the pain. For example, little things like taking my water bottle from the next room – easy!
We made the decision to have our second child shortly after the first, so when he was born we were having 2 under 2 (two kids under the age of two).
That meant that my elder child was still young and required a lot of attention too.
Which means despite being physically more able and mobile, my attention had to be divided between my newborn and elder child.
I am thankful to have both my confinement lady and parents to help me out during the confinement period. The confinement lady will focus mainly on my newborn and me, while my parents helped with the elder child (who is, at the age of nearly 2, is a handful!)
So if you are reading this and about to have your firstborn, enjoy your baby to it’s fullest! You will be busy, but at least when the baby sleeps, you have a moment of peace…. not another child to look after!
In this sense, I miss doing confinement in peace.
First time parents would likely feel overwhelmed looking after a newborn, especially in the first few days and weeks. Simple and basic acts such as holding, feeding, bathing and putting a newborn to sleep is a steep learning curve by itself!
As if to make it even tougher, all babies are individuals and likely to have different temperaments and characters.
That said, if you have cared for a newborn before, you would have likely picked up some basic skills. You would be familiar with the tasks that needs to be done.
I found that it was easier to pick up cues and signals from my newborn due to experience compared to my clueless first-time-mom self. I knew what was coming and what to expect, and this made a big difference!
That also meant that I had my own way and expectations in managing my newborn. It might or might not be the same way that my confinement lady is used to, so it involved some adjusting on her side.
With my first, I relied quite heavily on my confinement lady to teach me things like how to swaddle, bath and burp the baby as I started with zero knowledge on how to keep a baby alive.
An example would be that I preferred to have my newborn lie on his back due to safety reasons. To my horror, my confinement lady was used to putting a rolled blanket to the side of the baby, so that he is slightly slanted on his side and “can sleep better”.
Had I not known any better, it wouldn’t have been an issue but sometimes you can’t just turn a blind eye once you have learned something.
Despite a quicker recovery and more experience in dealing with a newborn, I definitely needed help during the confinement period.
This is especially so when one has a toddler full of energy to deal with.
If I were to do it again, I would definitely get a confinement lady as well.
It is extremely important to fully heal, both mentally and physically, during the confinement period to prepare yourself for what lies ahead! Not one, but two kids! Your life has changed once again!
What are your thoughts? How did your second confinement compare with your first?
Till next time! xoxo