I became a mom this year.
It is one year later than I’d like (I always wanted to have my first child at 28 like my mom), but that’s the way life is sometimes.
I write this after putting my baby to sleep. 15 minutes of singing songs and “shh”-ing while carrying him. Something I gladly do every night.
There is a certain satisfaction to seeing him fall asleep in my arms, looking so comfortable and peaceful.
For some odd reason, this would put hubby to sleep too.
So there you go, two of my most precious people sound asleep.
I usually turn off the lights in the room so that baby knows that it’s sleeping time and not wake up after 30 minutes.
But what the heck. I need some me time. I’ll take the risk today.
Looking back, this year has been a big one for hubby and me.
Earlier this year, I told him our 2017 goals as a couple: build and move into our new home, have a baby and pass his clinical exams.
I even wrote them on sticky notes and stuck them on our toilet mirror and his computer screen.
It turns out, despite our best efforts to plan around it, that these 3 significant events happened in the months of June and July.
Baby just stirred and I had to resettle him.
The lights are off as I am typing this.
It wasn’t easy meeting these goals.
We were building from scratch and had to deal with our builder and then more than a dozen tradies post handover.
My birthing experience was full of drama but that is a story for another day.
Hubby had to deal with various house matters, a baby, a wife who had a somewhat traumatic birth AND prepare for his clinical exams.
I have since learned to go with the flow. There is no point worrying too much. Everything will eventually fall into place.
It was a stressful period but we made it!
We moved into our newly built home, had a baby and hubby passed his exams!
I am so very proud and satisfied that we achieved what we set out to do this year (with help of course).
And yet a small part of me is already asking, “What’s next?”
Balancing between the ‘satisfied’ me and the ‘what’s next’ me is a fine art.
I struggle with it a lot, especially after being a mom.
One should never be too easily contented, otherwise, they might not strive enough in life.
On the other hand, it is never enough. There is always more money to be made and more promotion to work towards etc.
So is it alright to put my legs up and just enjoy the rest of the maternity leave with my baby?
‘What’s next’ me might have a problem with that.
But taking my own advice, I will just go with the flow. Take one step at a time.
After all, it is the journey that matters the most, right?